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The Adventure of Advent – The Journey vs. the Destination
There is an old saying, attributed to Ralph Waldo Emerson, that goes something like this
Life is a journey and not a destination
Ralph Waldo Emerson
There is some incredible truth revealed here that should also be applied to our understanding of Christmas.
Christmas for me and my family looks like a hectic mess! This year, we began Christmas preparations the day before Thanksgiving when I put up the Christmas lights outside. The reason behind doing this so early was to share in the joy that these festivities bring to young children. We hosted another family who has four young children for Thanksgiving. Their family, combined with ours made for 13 folks in our house. We had a fabulous time together, but there is just so much work and preparation that goes into hosting a party that it almost is not worth it. Don’t get me wrong, I am not a scrooge by any means, but getting ready for a celebration requires work!
Christmas can be a lot like work for me. The stress that comes with Christmas presents is almost enough by itself. There is so much pressure to be creative and thoughtful with presents. Having young children doesn’t make it any easier. My two and a half year old triplet girls love unwrapping presents and have absolutely loved the Christmas decorations this year. It makes it worth it for sure, but it is difficult.
This stress is combined with the busyness of the calendar, since I simultaneously prepare for finals for my masters degree while performing two parts for my church’s Christmas Drama production.
Busyness, stress, and pressure are the words I would use to describe my preparations for Christmas so far this year. The one shining moment is that it is all over and done with about two weeks before Christmas. The rush and busyness come to a halt in a week when my last final is completed for this semester.
The busyness of this season points to one thing…the destination of Christmas. We spend so much time going and doing for this one day, that we forget what this time of year is really all about.
Advent is about the Adventure
Advent Candles
This season on the church calendar is called Advent. Put simply, Advent is an adventure towards Christmas. While Christmas is the destination, Advent provides the journey to get there. Through Advent, we are reminded of the love, joy, hope, and peace that are required but often completely absent from our lives in this time.
I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people. For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Savior, who is Christ the Lord. And this will be a sign for you: you will find a baby wrapped in swaddling cloths and lying in a manger. (Luke 2:10-12)
What we really need is to step back at least for just a minute and see that the real preparation and transformation of Christmas happens in the journey and active waiting of Advent.
Many churches and Christian communities practice different rituals as a part of the Advent season. These practices are helpful in that they help us to realize that there is something to be gained in this often hectic season.
We also have rituals that we do with our family. Our girls create Christmas ornaments that tell the story of Jesus’ birth, for instance. We do these things to orientate our lives towards the reality that Jesus has come to this earth as the savior! Through Advent, we also anticipate the second coming of Jesus back into the world.
My hope for my family is that we breath, rest, and realize that there is hope, joy, peace, and love to be found through this Advent and Christmas season. May you be blessed as well!
Taking up My Cross and Following after Him,
+Bobby
Closer together now than Ever
From Bobby Fleck
This is something that I have reflected on lately:
I feel closer to my wife now than ever before
Truly, I do feel closer to Tiffini right now than I ever have before in our marriage. I know what you are thinking, right, “Of course you feel closer, you have spent so much more time together now than ever.” Yes, you are right, but this fact that we have gotten that much closer becomes even more important when you realize just how far we have come. We have been married close to four and a half years now and have had a great marriage.
Hope you are ready for some real honesty here…
One thing I have realized is that comparisons will kill relationships. I would look at other couples at times and wonder if we would get to that place where we could actually communicate and work together in dialogue united together. I idealized a place of perfection where we would totally understand each other completely. The biggest prayer I had had for our marriage over the past four years was in the arena of communication. It seemed like everything each of us would say would get translated differently as it traveled through the air to the other person’s ears. She would say something sarcastically, and I would feel like she was riding my case. I would say something funny, and she would take it seriously.
All this miscommunication and distance hit during the fall of 2011 as we were traveling back from a Sunday School retreat with our church. The three hour drive back home was flooded with tears; no, not Tiffini’s tears, mine. I realized that much of our miscommunication issues fell back on me, and I just didn’t want to admit that I had messed up. That drive back from the North Georgia Mountains, I took ownership. I apologized profusely and was devastated. I enjoy counseling others and helping them progress in their personal and spiritual lives, but is it okay for me to admit that I don’t always enjoy turning the mirror around on myself? I just don’t like it. Those feelings aside, the root cause of what hit me was that I was not being a servant in our relationship. I was too busy giving in service to others but was not taking the time to really serve in my marriage. I was very self-serving (and probably still am somewhat).
At that moment, I repented before my wife and God and asked for help. I would do my best to work towards serving her more. She knew I loved her, but love must be shown in actions. The truth of Ephesians 5 would be my guiding force over the next several months as God would put this commitment to love in service to the test.
Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word (Ephesians 5:25-26 ESV)
Fast forward now to February 2012 (this year). Never would I have imagined that God would give me such a real opportunity to put this commitment to love in service to the test. My wife has been on bed-rest since the Twin-to-Twin Transfusion Surgery back in February. When I mean bed-rest, I mean REAL bed-rest. She has a funny way of expressing my commitment to have her stay in bed and get the best rest possible. She calls me her “Nazi-Nurse.” What she means is that I am militant at times to her about staying still, resting, and remaining horizontal at almost every minute during the day. She is literally only allowed to get up when she has to use the bathroom.
Now, I am not rude or mean to her when I make her stay in the bed. I serve her. I wait on her hand and foot–literally. I help her change, arrange her bed, do all the chores, cook, etc. (if it weren’t for the help of so many friends and family members in this area, I would not be able to keep up).
This service that I now enjoy (yes, I do mean enjoy) allows me the opportunity to put into practice what I committed before my wife and God back in the Fall. I am thankful and grateful for these opportunities to be in service to her, and I really do mean that we are now closer than ever before.
You may look at this and say, “Great, awesome, but what about me? There is no way I want to do this or can do this.” Let me tell you this–it was not and still is not easy. There are times that I still am short and impatient. There are times that I don’t want to get up and refill her water. There are times when I just want to relax and not think about what I have to do next. The reality is that this change towards servant love comes through a moment-by-moment commitment and dedication to help and be Jesus to those with whom we are in relationship. You can do it! I can do it! With Christ’s help, we can all commit to serve others in relationship as Christ serves us. That is the heart of this love…being Jesus to those whom we love.
I am not perfect by any means or stretch of the imagination, but I am thankful for such an incredibly loving and beautiful wife. My love and heart, Tiffini Fleck!
Taking up My Cross and Following after Him,
+Bobby Fleck
Celebrating the Fifth Year Anniversary of My Proposal
Five years, wow. Today marks the five year anniversary of my proposal where you said you would spend the rest of your life with me.
On February 4, 2007, Super Bowl Sunday as a matter of fact, I took Tiffini out to eat at a Japanese Hibachi restaurant in Warner Robins, GA. Funny enough, I ordered Hibachi Calamari (squid) and she ordered regular human food. The night was a normal night, or so she thought. I had spent months in preparation for this night, and it all came down to the experience of the next couple of hours.
I began to save for the ring back in November of 2006. Whew, those things are expensive. We actually went ring shopping together in the mall. I took her in and said, “Alright, here’s the plan: you look and help me get an idea for what you want your ring to look like, but don’t walk up to the counter and go ‘oh, oh, I want that one, I have to have it.’ It is not going to work that way. Just help me get an idea for what you are looking for in an engagement ring.” She played along with me and stayed fairly inexpensive. I think she did that so that I would not feel obligated to get her a 10-carat ring!
Fast forward a couple of months. I met Tiffini’s dad, Gary in Macon for lunch so that I could ask his permission and blessing to propose to Tiffini. I actually had to lie to Tiffini so that she would not suspect what was going on. I told her that I had meet a couple of friends for lunch in Macon. I got in big trouble because I had to blow her off to meet with her dad. It was kinda funny in the moment, but it also made me feel bad that I had to mislead her. Gary covered for me, though.
Back to the night of the proposal. After dinner, I decided that we would go back to Andrew UMC where I was the youth pastor to propose. I drove around the church several times attempting to throw her off, which drove her crazy (literally). After parking, we went into the sanctuary. I made her sit on the front chairs, where I showed a video of our dating pictures, some scriptures, and a song to celebrate the six month anniversary of us having begun dating (since August 4, 2006). After the video, I sat down in front of the altar with her, pulled out my acoustic guitar, and we worshiped God for a while. I then instructed her to stand, close her eyes, to which I got down on one knee, and proposed to her at the altar in God’s house.
She said, “Yes,” after screaming and hugged me. The night was wonderfully poetic and beautiful.
I love my wife more than I ever have before, and as we expect the promise of triplets, I am truly honored to be called her husband.
She is my love, my life, my heart.
I love you, Tiffini Fleck!
where I saw GOD today 